Shana L. Darabie

Mark was getting concerned. 

He watched Julia stare at herself in the mirror. 

She’d been doing that a lot more these past few weeks. 

Initially, he’d thought she’d finally developed a well-earned sense of narcissism. 

Julia was a sight to behold. 

A beauty unlike any other.

Her skin was smooth like porcelain with an alluring ethereal glow. Her clear eyes drew you in, making you want to drown in their luminous color. Her features, delicate and refined, placing a need to protect her deep within your soul. Her touch, gentle and restrained, left you thinking of minor moments, afraid they may mean nothing to her.

So, when he noticed she’d taken to watching herself in the mirror more often than usual, he thought nothing of it. She’d earned it. But then it went beyond mirrors and became every and any reflective surface. Still, he told himself it was fine. It was perfectly normal for a beautiful woman to admire herself. He just thanked the gods he wasn’t half bad himself. They may not have been a perfect match in looks, but he knew he was good enough. And thankfully, she wasn’t so shallow that she’d leave him for someone more than good enough.

But then, one day, out the corner of his eye, he noticed the look on her face. They were having dinner with her college friend Tilly and Tilly’s husband Samuel. Tilly was girthsome, loud and incapable of having any sense of embarrassment, always looking to start conversations about religion and politics. And Samuel loved to egg her on, continually playing devil’s advocate and inappropriately tickling at her folds. A match made in hell for anyone that had to have these monthly dinners with them. 

The maître d’ seated the group at a round booth with this golden mirrored surface. It wasn’t a proper surface for finding faults or blemishes, but adequate for applying lipstick, adjusting earrings or removing a stray eyelash. 

Julia once again couldn’t stop looking at herself. 

She couldn’t even hide what she was doing. 

But worse, her expression was not that of admiration, but instead one of curiosity.

Mark had never seen her jaw clench so tightly before. Her lips pursed, highlighting future wrinkles. Her cheeks sucked in, hiding the baby fat that made her look much younger than her nubile age.

“Julia…earth to Julia!” Tilly laughed as she poked at the ungodly seven-layer chocolate cheesecake she was going to force Samuel to finish for her. 

Julia’s eyes reluctantly turned away from the golden surface. Embarrassed, she replied, “I could never disagree with you…”

Tilly smiled triumphantly, “see! The smartest person at the table thinks I’m right!”

Mark grimaced at the sight of Samuel pecking Tilly on the cheek as he said, “fine, you’ve convinced me,” giving Tilly the win she’d been after all along.

Neither Julia nor Mark had any idea what Tilly had been nattering on about. Mark had been too busy observing Julia. And Julia had been too busy observing herself. As for Samuel’s thoughts, Mark had never been too interested in any of that.

Tilly returned to her blathering. Julia politely nodded every time Tilly smiled in Julia’s direction with that annoying “is everything okay?” look on her face. But Mark could see Julia’s eyes taking peeks at her reflection.

As they left the restaurant, Mark whispered to Julia asking if something was wrong, maybe hoping Julia was finally as tired of Tilly and Samuel as he was. She smiled warmly and said, “oh nothing, darling. I’m okay.”

Mark spent the next few days frequently asking what was wrong or if everything was fine, even making sure to time the question when Julia lingered for a little too long on her reflection. She would then catch herself and give him a smile, and on cue say “nothing. I’m fine” or “yes, of course, I’m okay” in her soft and reassuring voice. 

But the staring was becoming more and more frequent. 

Too bothersome to ignore.

One night, she got out of bed at some ungodly hour. Mark assumed she needed the toilet despite him having repeatedly told her she needed to stop moving around, shaking the bed, going here and there, disturbing his sleep. She needed to learn to control her bladder, like a normal adult. It wasn’t necessary for her to have to pee so much. Especially at night. When she didn’t return in her normal time, at first, he fumed, then he crept out of bed and quietly tiptoed to the bathroom where he saw her staring. 

Then it happened.

Her hand came to her neck. She caressed her skin as though something was there that shouldn’t be. Her face was a mix of terror and fascination. Like she’d found a pimple or worse. But there was nothing on her neck but that little mole she’d been fretting over having removed. Mark had begged her not to. He liked the mole. It reminded him this flawless creature had her imperfections that only he could fix. Though he was now starting to think it was time to have the mole removed.

Her eyes suddenly jutted in his direction. 

She put on that gentle smile, quickly pulling her investigating hand away. 

She snapped the bathroom door shut and declared in her calmest voice, “I’ll be out soon.” 

Mark lingered by the bathroom door for a moment, but he could hear her silently waiting on the other side for him to leave her to her inspection. So, he went and sat in bed, determined to finally get out of her what was going on. But he awoke the next morning, alone in an awkward position with an awful crick in his neck.

Now he’d really had enough. This was starting to affect him negatively. But Mark knew the conversation had to be broached gently. Julia had always been a delicate soul. Oversensitive at times. Even a bit hysterical. He couldn’t bear to have her think he’d made her uncomfortable. Or worse, have her think he was the cause of her unnecessary, unflattering tears. He’d leave that to the likes of friends like Tilly and Samantha and Clarice with their constant prodding and whispered doubts in Julia’s ear.

From the kitchen, Mark stood at the blender, deaf to the whirring of its blades. He watched Julia, seated at the table ignoring the breakfast he’d kindly made for her. He’d noticed she had lost a few pounds recently and was trying to help her get back to where he liked her.

His gaze bypassed the slight smile on her face, instead focusing on her eyes peering into the reflection of the stainless-steel spoon. 

This was inappropriate. And it was time he said something, even if it might put her out a bit. She’d eventually get over it. She always did.

He clicked the blender off and marched over to the table.

He sat down before her. His hand reached out, taking hers.

“You need to tell me what’s going on. I’m worried about what’s happening to you,” he proclaimed.

Julia laughed and pulled away, ready to protest that everything was fine. But she was on the verge of tears. “You’ll think I’m silly,” she demurred with a smile.

Mark pushed, nonetheless.

Julia knew he knew what was best. She couldn’t deny it. There was no choice but to confess to whatever it was.

Mark would understand.

At least that’s what he said.

He reassured her that it was best, rational in fact, to tell him. 

She needed to explain herself.

She squirmed. Almost embarrassed. She turned her face as if to look away.

But Mark could see what she was really up to.

Her eyes faced the surface of the spoon. As though checking for something she wasn’t sure about. Something that needed to be confirmed. Mark took the spoon away. He drew her attention back to where it belonged.

Julia sighed. She tried to play it all off as nothing.

But Mark insisted.

Finally, it all came out in a flood. 

She’d first noticed a small hole. 

Tiny. 

Almost imperceptible. 

She’d assumed it must have been from some blackhead she’d missed. She rarely ever got those types of blemishes and would normally head straight to the dermatologist to attend to them immediately. But maybe she’d missed one and it had stretched the skin a bit. She’d look online to find if there was some way to get the pore back to its normal, invisible size.

But then it grew. 

She must have imagined it. 

The skin was clean. 

The hole shouldn’t have been there in the first place.

And now it was bigger than before.

Julia washed and moisturized every morning, after workouts and before bed every night. She didn’t use anything too harsh, and always followed the routine Mark had generously suggested to a tee.

But yes, it was growing.

She hadn’t imagined it.

In fact, she’d confirmed as much when she measured it for three days in a row, comparing against her fingernail. But no one seemed to notice. Nothing was said. She’d assumed friends were being polite. They all knew how uncomfortable it made her when they pried and prodded about “problems” in her personal life. But this time they were avoiding drawing attention to what would soon become a gaping hole in her neck. 

This was getting ridiculous.

Months had gone by. And yet no one even mentioned what was happening to her neck. How could they say nothing about this!? It was horrifying.

So, Julia nervously asked the doctor. The one Mark had recommended after he’d expressed his discomfort with her seeing that male one for so long. 

Had the doctor noticed anything… unusual? 

She had looked at Julia quizzically.

“Unusual? Like what?” 

Julia panicked. Would the doctor report back to Mark? She’d decided it was best to say, “oh, just checking.” But inside, she’d thought, “I must be going crazy.” Maybe the stress from work was making her see things. Mark always said she could get a bit hysterical over nothing, and he’d been wanting her to leave her job anyway, since he earned enough for both of them. It was no longer necessary for her to bother with working. He’d take care of her.

By god, it was ghastly… or was it a little exciting? Julia wasn’t sure, but worse than the hole getting bigger, she could now see little white things inside of it. Like tonsil stones? Or maybe baby teeth? Whatever it was, it didn’t make sense. It was impossible. She had to have been imagining all of this. Surely.

Then one day she did something she’d been dreading but also found a little exhilarating. Her fingers inched up her neck and hesitated. Then she took a deep breath and poked a digit into the small opening. She pulled her hand away, certain she’d felt something like a tongue stroke her finger. 

That was loathsome. If a bit electrifying.

But she could see the saliva right there on her index finger, glistening in the light. She didn’t imagine this. Irrefutable evidence that she wasn’t crazy. Or hysterical. Impossible as it might seem.

Mark was dumbstruck. 

Julia was losing her mind. 

But he knew just how to deal with this. 

He reached for her neck. 

She flinched, once again pulling away.

“Mark, don’t. Please keep your—”

His left hand clenched her right hand in a tight embrace. The one he used when she needed to be put in her place. 

“Let me just check. And then you’ll see you’re worrying over nothing.”

Tears streamed down her face. Mark could see Julia wanted to say no. But he couldn’t be denied, so she smiled and nodded yes, nonetheless. She’d always been too agreeable to refuse him what was necessary. What he knew was correct and appropriate. He knew what was best for all concerned.

His right hand reached out, inspecting the part of her neck he’d observed her exploring the past couple of weeks. His fingers ran past his favorite little mole. He felt delicate goose pimples rise atop her flesh. The quickening of her heart pulsed underneath her immaculate, child-like skin. Baby hairs brushed softly against his fingers.

“Here?”

Julia tried to pull back.

But Mark tightened his grip, making his intentions clear. This would be put to rest. Here and now.

Julia fidgeted. Feigned a laugh. Tried to pull away.

Mark’s finger continued its journey. He must show Julia just how juvenile she was being. He’d been too indulgent with this silliness. It was time to put this to an end.

She shifted.

His embrace tightened. It may leave a mark. Oh well.

“Mark, you shouldn’t—”

His hand jerked back. 

His finger pulsated in excruciating pain. 

A horrifying stream of blood gushed from where the tip of his middle finger used to be. How could a single finger produce so much blood?

Mark could feel panic creeping its way down his arm, through his body, straight to his heart from that bloody finger.

Julia pursed her lips then said, “why do you always insist? And now you’ll expect me to clean your mess.”