Lalo MacKenzie

Strangers delight in my moments of attention 

While my kin grows to hate me like sin on a Sunday 

Yet I am their favorite vice 

I am the hush at a party…..

…..But a scream in a church

Lauding hearts are the only power I can grasp at 

I eat them up with a silver spoon

I worship at the altar of approval

My pain fits in the palms of their greedy hands

I run away to the swing set at the end of my sullen suburb at 7 o’ clock pm 

Fuchsia and scarlet skies  

Ripping at horizon lines 

Sunset ablaze before it dies

One wish amongst their many lies

Audacious color in blooming bursting bounty

Dollops of sherbet topped clouds dip and drift 

Hopeful little mounds 

Billowing 

There is only a finger of rose left in the sky

Twilight twinkling in, whispering in the ears of those mawkish enough to wonder 

Stars will begin lingering, yearning 

My hands smell of palo santo and cinnamon 

Coyotes howl at the edges of the playground 

yipping in the dark 

waiting for heels to bite at 

A zealous hate overtakes me 

I will worship this feeling like a scared love 

Star-crossed and villainous 

Sowing seeds of bitter anger 

Voices call out my name 

Worrying & possessive over the syllables that form the shape of me 

I run further…..hide in the peach orchard down the lane

I gobble one whole

Juice dribbling, it tastes like the finest of pastries 

Peach pits are poisonous. 

I think to myself, “that is what girlhood is.” 

Growing fruit around cyanide

Their affection is a weapon they call love 

Their approval a false god 

Still, I let them find me in the growing dark…stars yet to show…

return to those greedy palms, a trinket 

Kin

Tonight. is. not. the. night. I. run. for. good.